A WAHumorous World

'Twas the day after Thanksgiving, and all through the house,
Not a creature did much stirring, not even a mouse {because we don't have any
But our little pet rat was snoozing blissfully with a bellyful of turkey)

The leftovers were packed in the fridge way back in there,
We just couldn't bear to look at them, all of us here.

The children were nestled all snug on the couch,
Lost in their Game Boys, especially my little grouch.

Numbly did we stash the dishes, gravy boat and platter
Slower than before because we were fatter.

I reloaded the dishwasher that was so weary and sick
The poor thing had developed a mechanical tick.

Begone turkey and stuffing and yams! Go, squashes, green beans, cranberry sauce and hams!

Why do we each year go through this crap?
Time to resume that long winter's nap.

Good Morning America on ABC is featuring a tip-a-day feature about authentic, legit and real ways to make money working at home. Not a single scam in the bunch.

You may be amazed at several of the ways listed, and there's one new feature every weekday.

Go and know:

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/TakeControlOfYourLife/story?id=2621388&page=1

...it's still mine and free!

Yesterday I was reading a friend's blog post about reorganizing and refurnishing her home office. She was looking for the kind of setup that would allow her to find everything she needed on a regular basis, because she was the "out of sight, out of mind" type.

So am I.

While walking the dog, who gets all whimpery after not going outside for a few days, my neighbor calls me over to ask where I would like a computer desk he had. He was going to chuck it if he couldn't find a home for it.

You could've knocked me over with a cotton ball. It was the type of desk I'd been shopping around for, only it didn't have a price tag of a few hundred bucks. It was a corner desk with an easel-pad stand sort of frame that provided shelf space right above the workstation, where even I couldn't miss it. It took up little enough space so that I could still fit a work table beside it and best of all...it fit in the corner by the window. I could finally make cat sounds at the little birds in the bushes outside.

A few hundred to zero in seconds. Sweet.

My wife loves to decorate for holidays...all holidays. You should see the Groundhog Day stuff.

Right now, there's a paper turkey - you know, the kind that you open up to a ruffly shape - watching over me like a vulture with a thyroid problem.

She's already planning the placement of the Christmas decorations.

I guess I shouldn't complain. Regular away-from-home offices won't let you decorate at all, although some will as long as you include every possible population whether there are any of them around or not.

That turkey doesn't seem so bad in light of that. Besides, he only has a week left to stare at me.

My youngest son had both Thursday and Friday off last week, and my wife had Monday off.

I suspect my son's days off were really just a thinly veiled device to give school staff a nice long weekend. How many days do kids go to school now anyway - 65??

My wife had actually forgotten about her day off and was preparing to go to work when it suddenly dawned on her. "Hey, I have today off!!"

This created two different scenarios:

1. With my son at home, I felt this nagging guilt at not spending all that time with him, although he never even noticed me there with his GameBoy ablaze. Still, I felt I should stop altogether and go hang out with him and do father-son stuff right away, rather than finish up what I needed to do in just a little time and then interrupt his video game stupor.

2. With my wife at home, it was her wanting to bug me and be entertained. Daytime TV being what it is and housecleaning even less of a thrill, she would often call out, "Honeeeey...how 'bout a cup of tea?" "Honeeeey...wanna go shopping with me?" Honeeeeey..."

You've got your internal pull and your external pull. Slightly exasperating.

I ended up with longer days to get things done, but still time for those distractions after observing my own time limits: 15 minutes, 30 minutes, whatever.

I guess you can do it all, just not all at once.

It's high time somebody addressed the issue of how not to write a product review. Seeing as I had nothing better to do, here goes.

1. Do Not elaborate about your recommendation.
A short, simple set of statements such as, "I bought it, I love it, Now buy it" will obviously be sufficient to cause your visitor to grab their wallet and whip out that credit card. Examples from personal experience to which your visitor may relate will only inform and educate, resulting in a more solid, informed buying decision less likely to be charged back by a disgruntled customer. Who wants that?

2. Do Not use clear and concise language. It tends to lead to a good understanding of the product and your trustworthiness. Better keep 'em guessing and off-balance so you can grab that sale before they know what happened. True, they may leave in disgust instead or demand a refund once they can think straight again. Still, it all evens out - lots of fish in the sea and all that.

3. Do Not employ personal stories as examples. Why bore them with your firsthand experiences? Who's gonna care what features you found most helpful and what was not so helpful? What's it matter how easy it was for you to use or the time and/or money you saved (or made)by using it? Let them find out for themselves!

4. Do Not show your honesty and trustworthiness by establishing a relationship with the reader. Relationships take time and effort to develop. While this person may be more inclined to purchase from you again, where is that in writing? They give money, you give product...Next!!

5. Do Not hesitate to demand the sale from the very beginning. Keep hitting them up to buy so they give in to the pressure. Gently and politely redirecting their attention to the link is for sissies. Don't waste time with respect...get that sale!!

By faithfully following each of these five steps, I assure you that you'll have no problem with sales. You just won't have any.